Healing Light

Sharing My Grief

I am trying to write more consistently again, but it’s hard to get back into the habit. I had made a commitment on February 25th, 2023 to post every day for one year. You can read about it here: A Year of Words. I wrote after that regularly for a bit, but then I took a short vacation with my son over spring break and took the week off so I could focus on our time together without being distracted.

This was our first trip that was just the two of us since before the pandemic and since we became a family of three, with my partner joining us. While this is a metaphysical blog, it is also a personal blog and so once in a while, but not often, I’ve mentioned my son. I did this because I wanted to keep some bit of privacy for myself and my son, as well, my son had autism and I could write a blog about our life and relationship all by itself, and I didn’t want to do that. But today, I need to share about our life because it’s going to shape my perspective and words, and I feel like it just needs to be there for anyone that follows along.

My son, along with his father, drown in Lake Michigan on July 5th. Jamie was with his dad for the holiday weekend. It was perfect boating weather with temperatures in the 90s. Dave, my ex-husband, had grown up boating as had my son. One of the reasons he had the boat now was because Jamie could drive it, and Dave and I liked having him do some of the things that other twenty year old men got to do and have fun with. Jamie did drive that boat and he loved to go fast. Lake Michigan is around 70 miles wide near the bottom between Indiana and Illinois, so there was plenty of space to let Jamie drive without other boat traffic remotely nearby.

On Saturday, July 5th, in the late afternoon, they had dropped anchor near the sandbar at boater’s beach near Burns Harbor where Dave kept the boat. There were a lot of boaters in the area at the time. They were playing catch with the football in the water. Jamie loved tossing the football back and forth with his dad. From what I understand, Jamie missed a catch and went after the football and ended up where the water was deeper. He was struggling and Dave went after him. Jamie knew how to swim and Dave was also a good swimmer. That area is known for an undertow and it is my belief that this is what happened. The other boaters saw the whole thing and a jet skier went to help but by the time they were pulled out and other help was there, both were dead. It took only a moment, for them to both be taken from this world.

On Sunday, July 5th, I went to church as usual. When I was there, I saw Dave’s mom and dad. We all went to the same church. It wasn’t until I got home that I learned that Dave and Jamie had both drowned. Dave’s parents also found out that Sunday after getting home from church. I went to their home in the afternoon and we made decisions for the arrangements. My mother in law and I made the majority of decisions. She showed an amazing amount of strength that day and in the following days. We had the funeral the following Saturday.

Tomorrow it will be one month. I am imaging that I will be counting backwards from that day for a long time going forward. And my life won’t ever be the same. For all the people in your life that you care about – just love them and let the rest of it go. As the expression goes, tomorrow is never promised.

Light and Love ❤

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